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Dirty Jokes-Sex Jokes-Funny JokesJokes at PleasureMeNow.com? We're your source or should we say your receptical for dirty jokes, sexual jokes, sex jokes, blonde jokes, funny jokes about relationships, men, women... The latest sex jokes updated weekly. Catch the latest jokes mixed with classic humor and funny observations.
(WARNING: Jokes may be hazardous to your depression)
(WARNING: Sex jokes may cause blindness if viewed too often)
HOW DID IT HAPPEN?"
The doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg.
"Well, doc, 25 years ago ..."
"Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning."
"Like I was saying...25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted.
I told her, "No, everything is fine."
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"I'm sure," I said.
"Isn't there anything I can do for you?" she wanted to know.
"I reckon not," I replied.
"Excuse me," said the doctor, "What does this story have to do with your leg?"
"Well, this morning," the farmhand explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"
REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX
- You can GET chocolate.
- "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
- Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
- You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
- If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
- Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
- You can have chocolate on top of you workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
- You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
- You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
- With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
- Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
- You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
- Good chocolate is easy to find.
- You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
- You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
- With chocolate size doesn't matter.
SAVOIR FARE
An American is in a restaurant in Paris. He asks the three Frenchmen at the table next to him, “Excuse me, all my life I’ve heard about Savoir Fare. Can you tell me what that is?”
1st Frenchman says, “Ah, you’re having sex with another man’s wife and he walks in on you and says, “Please, continue.” That’s Savoir Fare.
2nd Frenchman says, “No, no. You’re having sex with another man’s wife and he walks in on you and says, “Please, continue. May I pour you a drink?” That’s Savoir Fare!
The 3rd Frenchman says, “No, no. You’re having sex with another man’s wife and he walks in on you and says, “Please, continue.” If you CAN CONTINUE, that’s Savoir Fare!
(WARNING: Jokes may be past their expiration date)
(WARNING: Funny objects are closer than they appear)
(WARNING: Keep jokes out of the reach of children)
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