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ADAM & EVE
Heaven was getting a bit crowded, so Peter began giving quizzes to see who should get in. A man ascended to heaven, and came to the gates.
"Who was the first man?" asked Peter.
"That's correct. Enter." Soon another man came along.
"Where did Adam and Eve live?"
That's correct. Enter." Then Mother Theresa came along.
"Ooh, I'll have to give you a hard one. What did Eve say when she met Adam for the first time?"
"Mmm, that IS a hard one."
SEXUAL LINES FROM “STAR WARS”???
- "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
- "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
- "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
- "You've got something jammed in here real good."
- "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"
- "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
- "Sorry about the mess..."
- "Look at the size of that thing!"
- "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
- "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts,kid."
FUNNY NAMES FROM ACTUAL FILES OF THE CHICAGO POLICE DEPARTMENT
- Bryant Disco Boozer
- Dick Eater
- Eater Bush
- Kumsuk Saringer
- Dick Head
- Vicki Fucks, Manager of a Magazine
- Dog Doggy
- Godzilla Gorilla Pimp Hunter, 3 year old
- Beauty Mark Lee
Chicago has always had interesting Politians
- Dick Phelan, Former Candidate for Governor in Illinois.
- Dick Devine, Former Chicago Park District President, recent U.S. Senate Candidate. Used to work in Dick Phelan's law office. Currently Cook County State's Attorney
- Dick Daley, Actually Mayor Daley
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